Two Different Worlds

I’ve spent two weeks saying not much has changed, but as the novelty of being home begins to wear off I’m starting to see those things that are very different. And not necessarily different than when I left, but perhaps I just see them differently because I left. Things as subtle as conversations, what people talk about, how much they talk, expressions people use; it’s not things you’ll notice after a two week short term trip, more like things I would expect an African to notice. Every time I shake someone’s hand I want to do our three-part Namibian handshake. I feel offended when I haven’t greeted someone at an event (yes, you read that right and it is quite intriguing). The appeal and temptation to spend money frivolously here is to the point of overwhelming. Spending money isn’t an event; it’s just a natural part of life. I’m beginning to realize that I’ve gone way beyond getting annoyed or even frustrated at cultural differences. I’ve gotten to where I think far differently about things like money and relational living. Dallas Willard describes culture as what you think and do without thinking about thinking or doing it. If that’s true, then after a year Africa has left a far bigger imprint on me than I probably realize, definitely more than a little dust in the blood.

~~~~~~~~

As a sidenote, for those who are concerned that I use the term Africa far too generically, especially seeing as Namibia is the only African country where I’ve ever been outside the airport, please consider this. While yes, Africa is a continent, most Africans I’ve met from whatever country take pride in identifying with Africa, much like residents of our 50 states identify themselves with our country, the United States. We even go so far as to call our country ‘America’ when in actuality that is the name of our continent. Much of Africa shares a common heritage in tribal living, colonialization, and racial oppression. The struggles with war, poverty, and disease have left no country unscathed. With their shared culture, history, and crises it’s no surprise Africa has forged for itself an identity that somewhat resembles how we Westerners would think of a country.

There and back again

How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on?
Then in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back.
     ~Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

That’s how I expected to feel coming home, but truth be told, that hasn’t been my experience…at least not yet. I look around at everything that was once so familiar, and now a year older, but relatively the same. The biggest thing that’s struck me so far is how little has changed, how life goes on without you, not skipping a beat. And now I just melt right back in, almost as though I never left.

But that raises the obvious question of how I have changed, which is more what Frodo’s quote is talking about. How does a changed person fit back into a culture that hasn’t changed? Or in our cross-cultural training terminology, when a square-headed person lives in a round-headed culture his edges become more and more rounded. So how does the newly rounded square-headed person fit back into his square-headed culture?This is the process often called “re-entry” or “reverse culture shock.” At least that’s the technical explanation. More personal insights to come as I experience more.

As for the jet-lag, I was kind of enjoying waking up at 5 and 6 in the morning, reading the Word, watching the sunrise. The morning hours are lovely, a few quiet moments before the world awakes to it’s busy-ness. But I think staying up until 1am watching the Patriots last night has gone a long way to setting my body clock back on schedule.

Sleep when you get home

Over 12,000 photos and 218 blog posts later, I find myself back in the United States. I won’t write much tonight because my body clock is telling me it’s 2:15am, but I need to keep myself awake a little longer to help with the jet lag. Everything with my traveling went amazingly well. The lady at the desk checked in my overweight bags with only a slight scolding. The immigration officer didn’t ask a single question. Layovers were short and uneventful. And on the long flight from Johannesburg to Washington D.C. I had an extra seat next to me so I could stretch out a bit. Everything went great.

I picked a good time of year to come back. With my first deep breath of fresh air I was reminded how much I love fall in New England. The cool temperatures, the few colored leaves that remain, even the light sleeting this afternoon were welcome homecoming gifts. It was good to meet up with friends and family and catch up a bit. Much more of that lies ahead I’m sure. At least for a short while I’ll continue posting about my thoughts and reactions to being back in American culture as part of the overall educational experience. But for now, it’s off to bed for me…

Until next time

The bags are packed, each weighing in at close enough to 50 pounds that I should be ok. Most all my goodbyes are said. And I have only a nights sleep and a few last minute errands between me and my flight home. For my last post from Namibia I thought I would leave you with a list of random little things I will miss (other than all my incredible friends of course!):

1) The geckos stalking moths on my window screen
2) Cattle grazing right next to the road
3) Warthogs on the side of the road
4) Watching the sun set on the horizon while it’s raining overhead
5) How rain is a blessing, not an annoyance
6) The extravagant colors of clothes, houses, flowers…everything
7) Namglish
8) Solitary mountain tops
9) Pink, blue, and orange money
10) Being tan!

Two hundred and forty seven

That’s the number of days I’ve been illegal in the country. Now finally four days before I leave I’ve got my visa and my peace of mind. Yesterday morning I drove in to Windhoek and went straight to Home Affairs. I found myself on the third floor (where all the important people’s offices are) speaking with a Miss Inge. I was eying the large stamp on her desk that would easily solve all my woes. I explained my situation, then she explained it to someone else, then they called over an intimidating immigration officer who briefly said, “This man is going into custody.” But armed with the prayers of all my friends and the fact that they seemed like they genuinely wanted to help me, the three worked out a situation where I could get a 4 day exit visa and the certain immigration officer couldn’t be held responsible. So I walked out that morning with a stamp in my passport and a spring in my step from such a weight lifted. Praise the Lord!

The rest of the day was filled with visits to old friends in Windhoek that I won’t see again. It was such a blessing to reconnect with some of them that I hadn’t seen in ages. In the evening I picked up Toivo and we went to a youth group meeting at one of the churches that attended the camp I was involved with back in May. In typical African style, I ended up sharing the message about Jeremiah and being a prophet to your own people. Afterward they prayed over me as I’m preparing to leave. The warm-hearted, welcoming African spirit never ceases to amaze me. You can meet someone for five minutes and every time thereafter it’s as if you’d been friends for years. There’s nothing in the States I can quite compare it to except visiting these old-time, country Baptist churches with my singing group in college. That’s one part of this culture that I will miss greatly.

As I write this, I’m about to head out to Gross Barmen Hot Springs with the kids from the Ark for a kind of farewell fun day. After spending so much time with them before, I’m glad I can get in a good full-days worth of quality time before I go. Then it’s final goodbyes and packing on Sunday, and off to the airport on Monday. How time flies!

Eleven more millimeters of rain and one more day closer to my flight home

This morning I went to my last Bible Study at the Woodcarvers Market. Sylvia, Innocentia, Sarafina, and Tiago sent me off with much love and many gifts that I don’t know how to fit into my bags. Since the twelfth graders are finished with school for the year, I went with Buddy and Julia on some house visits to see the kids from the high school Bible Study one last time. We found Rosa at home with her one month old baby, Giovani. Then we hung out with El Marie, Carina, and Victoria for most of the afternoon talking about their exams, future plans, and old stories of getting into trouble as kids. The contrast amongst these girls was startling. Because of choices she's made, Rosa's future lay in her arms. Meanwhile her friends have dreams of going to school or traveling the world. I pray for God's blessing on each of these girls as they continue on their own unique adventures following after Him.

Spending this time here saying all these goodbyes has been therapeutic in a way, helping me set my mind on going home. Tomorrow I’ll head into Windhoek to hang out with Toivo one last time and visit the church youth group that came for a camp at Dieter’s plot back in April. I will also try to sort things out with my visa. The latest is Quatro (my high up contact in Immigration) has faxed my application and a personal letter to the lady in charge at Home Affairs. I haven’t been able to get an appointment with her so my plan is to show up at the office and pray that she’ll see me and stamp something in my passport. You’ll probably be in bed on the East Coast, but before you drift off into dream land please pray for me that God will grant me favor and I’ll leave with a visa. Nothing like last minute!

Full Circle

Sitting back at my old desk at Dieter and Joan’s it’s finally hitting home that I’m leaving in less than a week. Yesterday I said all my last goodbyes to my Arandis family and handed out all my picture CDs and parting gifts. Then this morning the rest of the commune (Tom, Peter, and Mike) woke up early to see me off. We squeezed all my stuff into Brenda’s little car and set off for Okahandja.

This is where it all started for me. I vividly remember walking up to this little house for the first time excited that this would be my new home for the next year. I remember unpacking and making myself at home, taking long walks around the plot with my camera.

This time around the flood of emotion is far different. I don’t even know how to put it into words to describe for you. It’s like I’ve come to the end of my adventure, and now I’m on the long journey home. The climax has come and gone, and this week is the resolution. I know life comes in seasons, and this one’s coming to a close. But right now it feels more like it’s turning into winter than spring. I pray this last week will help me to debrief my time here and start to set my mind on going home.

Camp

For only 24 hours, we packed quite a bit of action into our camp this weekend. Friday afternoon we departed with an outstanding 29 youth and 7 leaders for the campground in Swakop. After setting up camp, getting some dinner, and goofing around a bit, we settled down around the campfire for a talk from Steve about God’s forgiveness. The students were given time to write down those things that held them in guilt. They threw the papers in the fire, symbolizing how our sins are completely gone when God forgives us. Then we walked down to the beach for some late night Capture the Flag before bed.

We were up before the sun on Saturday morning. They mistakenly thought they could take their time preparing for the day so we had to go into drill sergeant mode to get them ready and lined up for morning exercises. After breakfast Boni continued with our theme of forgiveness speaking to us about resolving conflict with each other. We had some time to consider the conflicts in our own lives, and if the person was there, to go reconcile with them.

After packing up camp, we drove out to the dunes, then on to the pool at Dolphin Park. It was a great weekend for me, a chance to dig a little deeper with some of the students. I’ve gotten a lot better at prying, or rather not shying away from the tough questions that reach a little deeper. And at the end of two and half months, I’ve developed a good amount of relational authority to ask some of those questions. Teenagers have the same issues no matter where you go, the same insecurities, the same longings, and best of all, the same God who heals all the same hurts.

Beginning of the End

It’s official. I’ve started saying my goodbyes. Yesterday was my last volleyball practice. This morning was my last Bible class. We finished up talking about how God punished the Israelites by dragging them off into captivity, but He’s merciful and brought them back 70 years later. We talked about how all the stories and all the themes we’ve been talking about all along point to Jesus. When we were finished they asked when I’m coming back to teach them the New Testament. I hope they learned a bit and enjoyed it as much as I did.

My last Scripture Union meeting will be Monday. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know this group. They give up their break three days a week to come learn about the Bible. And that’s encouraging because it means they’re taking some responsibility for their own spiritual growth. In this group they’ve found acceptance, friendships, and a place to grow. I’m excited for how God will continue to use them in their school and this community.

Sunday will be my last church service at Arandis Christian Center. This local body has been a great blessing to me during our time here. They’ve embodied what it means to be the family of God. Despite all our differences I can truly call them my brothers and sisters. Their joy, dedication to prayer, and faith in the Lord has been a testimony to me and I’m sure to the community as well. I look forward to how God will grow their influence and spread His light amongst this town.


In a few hours we head off to camp. There’s nothing like a camp for good, quality time with kids. We’ll spend the next 24 hours camping on the beach, hanging at the dunes, and experiencing God together. This will be my last big hoorah with this group of students that I’ve come to love dearly. Pray with me that God will use this time to renew their passion for Him and build lasting relationships between the new and old members.

Welcome answers to prayer

Rainy season in Namibia is supposedly October through March, though you’d never expect it, especially in Arandis. But sure enough, the abnormal dark clouds that canopied the sky all day finally let loose just as we were starting youth group this evening. We all grabbed our chairs and crammed into the living room at the Banda’s house. It only showered lightly for about 10 minutes, but it was enough to know that our prayers from church this morning were heard and answered.

Speaking of answered prayers, I haven’t been very good at keeping you all up on the latest prayer requests. Fabiola’s niece, Lawina, has been in the hospital for the last week or so. She was born prematurely 14 yrs ago and has spent more than her share of time in the hospital ever since. I don’t know exactly what was wrong this time, but it was serious enough that she had already given up all hope. But Fabiola went to visit her on Thursday and was reading her portions of the Bible. By morning her swelling had gone down and she was taken off oxygen. She was smiling and said all she wanted was to get better. Praise the Lord for a great answer to prayer, but keep praying for her because she's not out of the water yet.

About a month ago we started planning for our mini-camp next weekend. We budgeted N$3000 to take 30 youth into Swakop for an overnight campout. But recognizing none of the youth can afford to slap down N$100 for a camp we knew we’d need to do some fundraising. With 3 weeks to raise N$3000 we started washing cars, cleaning people’s yards and homes, collecting deposits on soda bottles, and anything else we could think of. We asked God to multiply our efforts and we’re currently sitting pretty at N$2600 with more coming in. You can be praying with us for each of the students who will attend the camp, that God will work in their hearts in ways that we can’t even imagine.

Back in the habit

Back in Arandis things move along with a slight sense of normalcy. This week in Bible class we covered Israel’s first two kings, Saul and David. Next week we’ll finish up with the Divided Kingdom, Captivity and Return from Exile. It’s been a joy teaching them with their young, inquisitive minds and unrelated questions. I’ve learned a lot from them.

All the youth are preparing for our mini-camp next weekend by doing different fundraisers. This afternoon we’ll wash the cars at the Town Council. Tomorrow we’re having a little braai and delivering the plates to people in their homes. I love all the extra opportunities to be involved in the kids lives, working together toward the same goal. Camp next weekend will definitely be an event to remember.

Yesterday I joined Tom and Peter, my UK friends, in Swakop for a little down time. They’ve been getting into football, watching the Patriots with me and all, so we played a little 2-on-1 round robin on the beach. Even though we had to use their rugby ball it was still great, the first football I’ve played since the Independence Day braai with the Ark kids back in March. Afterward we went for a refreshing dip in the cold Atlantic ocean, though Peter didn’t quite make it all the way under. It was a nice day, and probably my last opportunity to just relax and play tourist around the town.

Seasons of Change

The weekend in Okahandja was a great time to refresh and catch up with some old friends. I joined Buddy and Julia at Bible study on Friday afternoon, but since the 10th and 12th graders are in the middle of their final exams, they had all gone home early when they finished testing. At church on Sunday I was able to catch up with Jenny a bit who is still waiting to hear from the municipality about getting her own plot. And on Saturday I went to Windhoek to hang out with Toivo and help him work on his personal essay to send out with college applications. He’s doing well, but he says this is his hardest term yet so keep him in your prayers.

I spent Friday afternoon at the Ark playing rug-ball (a combination between rugby and American football) with some of the younger kids. Donavon had been asking me to bring my football ever since our Independence Day braai back in March, so I decided to leave it with him to enjoy. Though I’m certain I’ve doomed it to a life as a makeshift rugby ball.

Much has changed at the Ark over the past two months. Lazarus and Leila, the house parents for the last 3ish years, are moving up north to work with the ministry in Oshikuku. So now the house is being led by foreign volunteers, all female. They’ve made some new rules and disciplinary changes that the kids are getting used to. It’s been tough on many of them and simply reinforces my belief in long-term consistency with kids, especially through such formative years. It’s no wonder many become so hard-hearted and closed off, but it’s something this continent has gotten far too used to.

Saturday evening I was invited back for another boy’s night. The female volunteers, not knowing me from before, asked if I would be ok with the guys by myself. It made me smile realizing that in reality, I was probably more ok than they were. It’s not gonna be fun in a few weeks saying goodbye to the kids for the last time, but God works in seasons. And my prayer is that this won’t be the last season for me to invest in their lives.

Hilton or Motel 6

Today I find myself back in Okahandja. It’s been about 2 months since I’ve been here and I could catch a ride out with Richard Beukes, Sylvia’s husband who’s been working on the Hope’s Promise school, so I decided to make a weekend of it. In a few hours I’ll visit the Bible study at the secondary school then go hang out at the Ark for the afternoon. Tomorrow I’m going to head into Windhoek to spend some time with Toivo and hopefully work on some college applications. So I hope it’ll be a relaxing, yet productive weekend.

~~~~~~~~

Buddy and Julia are house-sitting for some missionaries who are out of town so they’re letting me stay with them. This house has got me thinking about luxury’s place in missions. Not only is the house huge and immaculate, but they have a pool, unlimited wireless internet, an indoor braai and the list goes on. Now the first thought is that’s only natural since the dollar is so strong here Westerners can easily afford luxury accommodations. And why not? It makes for a good place to relax, refresh, and restore the soul after a long, hard day of ministry. And the culture shock isn’t so bad when you can still enjoy many of the comforts of home. Is it bad, or wrong? No, I don’t think so. But I’m more concerned about what is most effective and best.

Depending on your particular ministry (ie, hosting missionaries, working with the poor, etc), your living conditions can have quite an impact. I recognize this in little things as simple as when people ask me how much my camera costs or my plane ticket to get here. I realize they could eat for months on that much money. Luxuries like that create a separation between the ministers and the people we’re ministering to. But of course we must recognize there is automatically a separation because of things like my native language, my food preferences, my skin or hair color, or any number of other things. But I think the more we can narrow the separation, the more influence we can have in people’s lives.

At some level I think it effects the gospel we preach. This morning I wrote in my journal, “How can we teach them to be content with little when we have much? How can we teach them about the vice of materialism when we idolize our materials? How can we teach them to live by faith when we don’t need to trust God for anything ourselves?”

But probably most importantly, God is far more concerned with the internal attitude of our hearts which is reflected in our external actions. Perhaps I have extra money to spend on myself because I’m more concerned with my needs than with ministry needs. In my reading just this week the author used the phrase “disposable income.” What is that? Does that really exist? The reason we say that is because charitable giving has been allotted a small segment of our budget. What would it look like if ministry became our budget and we used what was left for our needs? What if we really looked “not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others” where our finances are concerned?

Well I’m sure this’ll raise a little controversy, so leave it in the comments.

One month from today

One month from today I’ll be breathing in the cool autumn air of a New England November day. At 6am I’ll have been awake for hours slowly trying to readjust my internal body clock from the jet lag. I went back and read my blog post from January 4th, a month from my arrival here in Namibia. It’s amazing to think how far I’ve come since then. But once again my thoughts are turned toward home, only rather than missing what I left behind, I’m wondering what I’ll find when I get there.

People continue to ask me if now that I’ve been here a year, am I more inclined to stay? Will I even want to go back? With that departure date looming like a lengthening shadow in the back of my mind, I’m beginning to realize how much of my heart I will leave behind. During a two-week short term trip you learn a few people’s names and leave a photo for them to remember you by. After a year, you learn people’s stories, you experience life together, you walk with them through hurts, rejoice with them in triumphs, and leave a piece of your heart behind. I think that’s what Paul’s getting at when he writes, “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”

~~~~~~~~

Since the very beginning I’ve been asking you to pray about my visa situation. I haven’t mentioned anything about it in a while because it hasn’t really moved in a while. But just this week Sylvia Beukes, the National Director for Hope’s Promise, met with Quatro on my behalf, our connection in Immigration who I’d faxed my application to. He reassured her that he would handle it, but was wondering if we might have access to a laptop for him. Gotta love it! And not only that, but if I were to get deported, he’s the guy who would come pick me up, so nothing to worry about. Please continue praying, because while his reassurance is comforting, it’s not something I can stamp in my passport.

"That's the first hot shower I've taken in two months"

Ever since I’ve heard of it I’ve wanted to go sand boarding. Sure we went lie down boarding with the dance group back in July, but I’m talking real legit stand-up boarding. So today Tom, Pete and I hitched a ride into Swakop and found some tour guides to take us out on the dunes. And it totally lived up to the hype!

It’s a little different that snowboarding, but very similar. And the only chairlifts on the slopes are stuck to the bottom of your legs. Though the walks back up weren’t as bad as one would think, perhaps because of the anticipation of going back down again. Next time I come this side I’m totally bringing my snowboarding gear.

Since we were playing tourist for the day we stopped by the Snake Park as well, though none of us opted to get our photo taken with Piggy the Python. And since we were still covered in sand when we got back, Steve graciously let us come over for some hot showers (at Mike’s house we only have cold water). Overall it was a really fun day. I highly recommend it.

Arandis Sports Weekend

This weekend is the long awaited Arandis Sports Weekend. There will be tournaments all weekend including track and field events, soccer, tennis, darts, chess, netball, and of course, volleyball. I’ve been recruited for the town team and we’ll be playing against the Kolin Foundation team as well as teams from Windhoek and Walvis Bay. You can log on today at 12:00pm EST for a live streaming video of the tournament games…are you kidding? Who do you think I am!? Maybe next time.

~~~~~~~~

This week in Bible class we talked about the patriarchs in Genesis. We started with Abraham and how salvation came through his faith and not his works. Then we talked about Jacob and Esau, how God uses even our sins and bad choices to accomplish His ends. Finally, this morning we looked at Joseph’s life and learned that even when nothing seems to be going our way, God is still in control. After two weeks we finally finished the first book of the Bible. Next week we’ll hit the next two books, then spend our final 2 weeks together on the whole rest of the Old Testament. Hard to believe I only have 3 full weeks left in Arandis.

Hitchhiker's guide to poverty culture

I took a day off and went in to Swakop today. It was great to spend some time alone and to get back behind my camera again. I took about 250 shots walking around town, visiting shops, watching kids play on the beach. It’s easy to take photos in Swakop because everyone’s used to tourists with cameras and the town is so photogenic. And I even ran into my friends Marcus & Jojo from Okahandja who were also taking a little weekend downtime, so that was a blessing.

I’ve frequently been asked about hitchhiking from people in the States who are a little leery or surprised or shocked. It always makes me smile because it’s just natural here. I suppose if America had more people without cars than with then hitchhiking would be more common there too. It got me thinking about how much of poverty culture is shaped by necessity. It’s understood that those who have help those who don’t. This concept is largely lost in an individualized, materialistic, self-propagating culture. Everyone looks out for number one and doesn’t even notice the needs of others. Perhaps our culture would be more shaped by necessity if we were a little more aware of the needs of those around us.

New Roommates & New Adventures

This week Tom and Peter moved in to Mantown. They are volunteers from the UK with African Inland Mission staying here in Arandis through November. Tom just graduated high school and is taking a year off before going to university next year. Peter just graduated from university and is taking some time off before joining the workforce. It’s nice to have some other guys around who are closer to my age. They’re also working with Boniface planning some leadership training for the student leaders in the youth group and also an afternoon soccer club.

Next weekend the Jr. Town Council is planning an Arandis Sports Weekend. Among the many competitions will be a volleyball tournament including teams that have been invited from Windhoek and Walvis Bay. My new friend Allen asked me to play with his team, so this could be interesting. I love these opportunities to get involved in the community that other missionaries tend to pass up.

Being an elementary school teacher hasn’t been so bad, granted I only teach one class 3 days a week for seven 4th-5th graders. So far we’ve covered creation and the fall and we’ll finish up this week with the flood on Friday. We’re also memorizing the books of the Old Testament. This week we started off easy with just the first five books – although pronouncing Deuteronomy has been a bit of a challenge for some. I know, I’m such a mean teacher, aren’t I.

No Grootfontein

Apparently someone on the other end got sick so this weekend’s outreach has been cancelled. It’s really too bad because I was looking forward to the discipleship opportunities it would present within our team, especially those who’ve never been on an outreach before. There’s plans in the works for an outreach to Keetmanshoop in the south, so hopefully that one will work out.

Sodium Chlorawhat?

Starting next week I’m going to start teaching the 4th and 5th graders at Talitha Kumi Primary School, the private school started by Hope’s Promise. I wanted an opportunity to teach the Bible to young kids trusting that it will help me better teach the Bible to teens and adults. Sometimes it’s easy to complicate the message with complex ideas and big theological sounding words. With kids, that’s impossible. If I have to explain it to a child, I have to have a pretty simple understanding of it myself.

I’ll be teaching a much simplified version of the Old Testament curriculum I’m working on. I hope it will give them a framework and a timeline to understand how all the pieces fit together. Often we hear a story here and a story there, but have no overarching knowledge of redemptive history. The lessons are designed to teach major biblical themes while chronologically studying through Old Testament history.

~~~~~~~~

For those of you who know her, congratulations are in order for Clara. She took the gold medal at the National Science Fair competition in Windhoek last weekend! Not only that, but Arandis’ Kolin Foundation Secondary School is now the top school in the nation for science, even over Windhoek High School and St Paul’s prep school. That’s pretty big news and people here are quite exited about it.